A Major Roadblock To My Blogging.

I had a dream for this blog when I first started it.  I assumed I would write it and throes of people would love it.  I would get commercial sponsorship, a book deal, and get to write about all the amazing new products out there for women.  The words would flow from me like a dam. I had so much to say that everyone wanted to know.  When that didn’t happen, I assumed that everyone who read it was still going to love it and just agree with everything I posted.  The words would still flow and I would never ever run out of ideas.  Wow, was I every wrong.  It is hard work writing a blog.

These wrong ideas were some of the many factors in taking a break from writing this blog. In my blog post Hello Again, I went over a few more  factors of why I took a break, but I realized yesterday there was one huge reason I had to take a break. In truth, I was not ready to put myself out there at all.  I thought I was, but I was in no way ready for disagreement.  I ignored this as I was not comfortable confronting it.  Thus a very good reason to take a break.

I was not prepared for negativity. Yes, negativity, real or perceived. Everyone knows that the internet is anonymous. People make comments they would never ever say in person. I know people say cruel things and horrible comments on news articles and even You Tube videos of absolutely amazing stunts, singers, and the like.  I would venture to guess it is because there are very little consequences to spouting off each and every thought they have, good or bad.

I just never thought it would happen to me.  I realized how much this had bothered me when I posted a comment onto a Facebook page of a major national retailer.

To make a long story short, I had applied for a job and went to the interview with a major retailer. The interview never actually happened, but I felt the way things were handled were completely out of line. I knew making any comment concerning this was making sure I didn’t get a job from this company, but I was okay with that if this was how they treated potential employees.

Two people responded to my comment besides the company itself. One was mocking me and one was basically telling me I thought I was entitled. This just washed off of my back and made me laugh. These people did not know me. They did not know the circumstances behind my comment and they most certainly did not understand my intentions.

I told my mom the situation and I realized how much one column by a another blogger had upset me in the past. She used one of my blogs, giving credit to me, as an example of basically judging others.   At least this is what I perceived.  It drove me crazy. I could not look at it as, hey, she just got my name out there and people were looking at my blog because of her post.  All I could see is that she didn’t get the gist of what I was trying to say.

In fact, it was more of a perceived insult rather than an actual insult. She thought highly enough of my post to actually use it in her post in a non derogatory way. She wasn’t criticizing me, but taking a different view from mine.

I began to wonder how do you write a blog, post it on the internet, and not expect some criticism? If I am willing to share my life, my thoughts, and my hopes and dreams to the world than I need to be able to let others share theirs.

My opinions are mine. Some people agree with me, some people do not. This makes the world go round. I don’t shout my feelings and opinions to the world and I don’t like people shouting theirs to me. It all boils down to respect.  By being so upset, I don’t feel that I respected the blogger who wrote a post with a different opinion on a subject than I had.  I needed to first get over myself and except that not every one will agree with me.  I needed to learn how to appreciate those opinions that are different from mine.  Most of all I needed to learn the self confidence to be secure in my blogging.

It took the past year for me to come to terms with this issue. Sometimes it takes a long time for me to learn a lesson, but it is learned. That is not to say my feelings won’t get hurt in the future, It’s not to say that someone’s opinion will not make me mad, but I hope that I listen with respect and attempt to see their side of the story.  Who knows, if we all did this than the world just may become a better place.


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