Not sure how to write this today. Aunt Flo came to visit and spoiled my plans last Friday. I was so surprised that my body was not slowing down and demanding naps that I even mentioned it to my husband. I was so wrong. I have taken naps since Tuesday. I even attempted two in one day.
I am bone tired. Motivation is not even in my vocabulary. I am sure I am not alone with dealing with Peri Menopause, but it seems as if I am. It is such a battle. No one really understands unless they are going through it and no one really wants to. The things I want to accomplish don’t get done. In reality nothing gets done.
The worse two symptoms for me are the exhaustion around my period and the hot flashes. The hot flashes, because even when the weather is cooler I wear my hair up so that I don’t feel as hot. I sleep with a fan blowing cool air onto my side of the bed. Hot flashes leave me alone then.
The exhaustion is the hardest to deal with. It hits me like a lead balloon out of nowhere. I am running smoothly, keeping up with my world and then whoosh I am in bed sleeping. When I am that tired my thoughts are not clear. I eat more to get some energy. I have to force myself to even read a book as something as simple as that is to much effort.
The symptoms are nearly akin to depression. I do get sad thoughts at the time, but I know, from experience, this is going to pass as soon as my period is over and I am able to take my progesterone.
The first symptom I had was crankiness. I chalked that up to stress. The second was I was hotter than normal. I couldn’t tell if my office was hot or if it was just me. I used to be the “cold” one in the room. Now I am the one wearing tank tops while the temperature is in the low 70’s. I was working and didn’t have the energy to clean my house. I didn’t have the energy to do much of anything.
I lost my job in 2009. I realized something was wrong and had no idea what to do. My doctor told me I was going through Peri menopause. I was just glad to have some idea what was happening to me. Googling it helped me to understand it better than the term.
I was still very cranky. I found black cohash to help relieve my meanness. That was what it was. My poor husband took so much verbal abuse. I hated myself for being so mean to him. He never deserved it. I took one black cohash a day and it stopped my mood swings. It helps to exercise, but that is getting just a bit more difficult. I get tired of sweat pouring down my face. I can’t stand being so tired I can’t think clearly.
A couple of months ago I put myself on Progesterone and that has been a life saver. I think clearer and can even write this blog without sounding nuts.
I wish I could write this with witty banter of how I feel, but wittiness doesn’t come. I just want to cry. It used to be 2 weeks a month I felt like poo. Now it is only one. That is an improvement.
I was told this could last for three years or more. Since the first symptoms started in 2008, I am in year five. I am just ready for it to end.
I have researched food items to eat to relieve perimenopause, but even that is hard when you have to cook for two. Thank god for black cohash, progesterone, and vitamin d. These seem to be the best answer for me.