First Baby Step Towards Losing the Weight and Reclaiming Me.

I felt great about sharing my weight loss struggle with you all last week.  The feedback was amazing.  It seems to help having others to share my experience with and for them to share theirs.

That day was great.  No over eating even though I was going to be dealing with an issue I struggle with.  I was actually excited for the weekend. I have to say it went well as you can read on Mondays post.  If you didn’t get to read it here is the link:

Monday came and went.  It went  great until the evening.  I have a huge problem with overeating at night.  I ate so much junk it wasn’t funny.  My rule on processed foods doesn’t quite cover microwave popcorn.  I use my popcorn popper as a coffer roaster.  I buy the individual packs of movie theater popcorn for the microwave.  The popcorn goes stale when buying the popcorn kernels so I buy the microwave junk.  If any of you have ideas on how to store the popcorn without it getting stale please let me know!

Tuesday, I started thinking why did I over eat?  I wasn’t stressed out, I wasn’t bored.  I was feeling tired from the menopausal symptoms.  Then I realized that I had been stressed the past weekend.  I just didn’t realize it.  You see I stay vigilant when I know stress eating can happen, but the next day when my guard is down, it is off to the races and I eat like a pig.

I overate Wednesday too.  I guess when you are on a roll, you stay on a roll.  Truth is I was still eating over the stress from the weekend.  It’s funny because when I eat at fast food places like McDonalds, I crave it for days afterward.  When eating at a quality restaurant like Briarpatch and even Chipotle I have no cravings.  I can just move forward and plan my day.

I didn’t start stress eating until I was pregnant with my first child.  I had seen what stress eating does to people.  My answer was to walk or just go off by myself until I felt a type of release.  Once you get married you can’t always do that.  Once you have a newborn you can’t do that at all. You are in the middle of some extreme stress and no release.

That newborn has just had her own newborn.  It has taken a long time to understand myself.  Now that I do I am searching for the tools to stop, to find new ways to stop overeating.

I know baby steps are the answer.  It seems like I keep doing the baby steps over and over.  I start losing weight and then I have to deal with change.  I am not a fan of change, actually I am.  Just not a fan of changing my schedule at home.  Those of us who struggle with our weight know deep down what we are doing wrong. We know that the way we use the word diet means deprivation.  It means no to some form of food that we love.  But do we love those foods or the comfort from them?

Over the years I have stuffed myself with sweets, craved them really.  I actually thought at one point why bother cooking with it?  Just eat sugar by the spoonful.  I didn’t because the truth is I am not fat because of the food I eat. I am fat because of the way I consume the foods.  I am fat because of the way I choose the foods that I eat.  I am fat because I don’t enjoy the foods, I shovel the food down my throat so fast I can’t even taste them.  I am fat because I choose food over dealing with the issues that I face.

Eating breakfast last Saturday at the Briarpatch, I ate slowly.  I enjoyed each and every bite.  I savored the pancake and the difference between the tart of the lemon curd and the sweet of the blueberry syrup.  I sat at a nice table outside and enjoyed myself with family.  I didn’t even eat all of it.  I took half of it home and ate it for breakfast the next day.

I eat quickly at home like I am in a race.  I really don’t enjoy the food.  It seems to be something I do so I can move on to whatever I have planned to do that day.  I sit in front of a television, watching things that usually don’t interest me and eat fast.  I eat more than I should or even want.

I believe my first baby step will be this week to slow down how fast I eat.  Anybody with me?  What steps do you want to take?  Let’s face it, the majority of people who read this blog at this time are my friends and family.  Join me!  I could use all the strength I can get.  We all know what we need to do, but life gets in the way, past hurts, even family gets in the way.  I know I can lose this weight, but it would be nice to have a few people on board with me.

Walking still helps, but my oasis is changing.  More and more people are out there.  You see when I walk I pray.  When praying out loud you look like you are talking to yourself.  I am uncomfortable around others when I exercise.  I really could use an exercise partner, but just can’t seem to find one.

What are your ways of releasing stress? Have you found a way to not stress eat?  What are your triggers for overeating?


2 thoughts on “First Baby Step Towards Losing the Weight and Reclaiming Me.”

  1. So much of what you said is me to a T!! I think I have always been an emotional eater. Happy, sad, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed….it doesn’t really matter. Food for me is like alcohol to an alcoholic…i eat to “get rid of the problem”, unfortunately, the problem is still there. I’m against the word diet – if you “go on a diet”, at some point you will “go OFF the diet”. I would like to develop some healthy living habits – portion control and exercise. Definitely slow down and enjoy every bite. I’m on board with you!

    With everything in my life right now, I am OVERWHELMED – I have so many things I want/need to do and I just don’t know where to start so I end up not doing anything. I am going to try to work out some sort of “schedule” so I can do a little bit of all the things I love and take care of my family and myself too.

    1. I understand exactly what you feel. I am the same way. I guess baby steps are the only answer. I have been looking for someone to walk with me, but then I can’t pray. The praying has been my release.
      Talking out loud to God, has made me realized stuff that bothered me for so long. We didn’t just gain weight because we ate to many Big Macs. We gained it because that is how we consoled ourselves. At least that is what I have done forever!

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