Coping and dreaming

Sometimes you just need a fantasy or dream to keep you going.  All the love in the world during tough times is not always enough.  Prayer helps, but lets face it.  We are human and jump ahead of God so much it is crazy.

I hated growing up in my home town.  I mean hated it.  No one really knew how much, but I was determined to leave as soon as I could and shake the dirt from my feet. Until Facebook, I never really understood how many wonderful friends I actually had there.  As a teen, you can’t see more than 2 feet from your nose.  Now I look back and realize it was a very good place to grow up in.

I felt so left out in high school.  Christmas vacation and summer vacation would come and I would see that as a time to reinvent myself.  I would make small changes and be perfectly happy until I got to school and things went back to normal.  I felt that my personality was put into a little box and I couldn’t step outside of that box.  The first thing I did when I left high school was jump out of the box as far as I could.  I loved watching my kids experience things for the first time.  That is one of the major things I try to do now.  Take each and every experience and look at it as if it was the first time.  Savor every second of it.

I graduated and college finances didn’t come through.  I didn’t even think of asking my parents to help me get a loan for school. I just didn’t go.  Then I met my husband.  I never even looked back.  We went through tough times, but none tougher than the move to Florida.

The move to Florida was the toughest time in our lives up to a few years ago.  It was the right move for us.  Our kids wouldn’t be married to who they are without it, but it was tough.  Tough is an understatement.  I was lost for a long time, trying to find out what in the world I really wanted.  I wanted my family, I wanted my life, I wanted a job that I loved, but I also found that deep down there was a life long desire to travel.

I first wanted to travel to France.  My ancestor who moved to the colonies in the 1600’s was from France.  France is the greatest dream I have.  I want to see Paris, Normandy, Provenceetc.  I want to see other places too.  I want to see Finland, Denmark, Scotland, Ireland, Germany, Russia, Poland, Romania, Italy, Greece, Spain, Portugal, India, and just about everywhere else you can imagine.

But the one first love that I dream of to get through everything is France. I am actually scared to go!  I am afraid of being let down when I get there.  Impossible I know.  I am so French enthralled that if the term French or France is on something I will try it.  Searching for a vodka the other day I was attempting to decide between two brands.  Then I found the French flag on one brand and that made up my mind.  Silly I know.  But you see each tiny little item, picture, recipe, or even speaking to French people on Facebook, makes me feel one step closer.

The second worse time in our lives is nearly over.  We will finally have some peace.  A time when the events in our lives will totally be our mistakes or our victories.  This dream to travel was one of the few things that got me through.  My husband and I got our passports this year to see out eldest daughter get married in Mexico.  I so did not want to see Mexico.  We went because we had to in order to see her get married.  The trip was so much fun.  I regret not making my husband see more things as he had a lot of fun going there.

I guess there are two things I am trying to say with this blog post today.  One is that I am completely obsessed with wanting to travel. So much so that even my husband has no idea of how deep of a desire this is for me.

The second is this, we all need ways to make it through the tough times in life. There are sicknesses, financial problems, marriage problems, and even more than I can think if problems, but we get through it. Whether we get through it by making goals like my husband does, or planning how to go to places you never have like I do, we all need hope.  Without hope there is no joy, no goals, just unending sadness and depression.  I know that for me being without Christ there is no hope, but he gives us dreams and desires to keep on going.  Showing us that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

How do you cope?  What brings you the desire to make it through the hard times?  I know this is a Saturday post and I never post on Saturday’s, but I just felt the need to.  God Bless!


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